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The Mental Health Impact of Infidelity

There have been plenty of people who have been blindsided by a breakup or divorce—but no one expects it to happen to them.

The painful truth is that your partner’s seemingly sudden desire to end your relationship was likely not a sudden decision. Their discontent had likely been brewing underneath the surface, and you only became aware of the truth when it could no longer be concealed. When a partner has committed romantic or financial infidelity, only to reveal their deception in the midst of ending your relationship, the separation is all the more painful.

Humans are cognitively wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. It goes along with our natural tendencies to avoid the uncomfortable truth while distracting ourselves with ignorant bliss. 

It’s hard not to ask “why?” after you have been lied to or cheated on. While a reasonable question, the problem with that question is that the answers may not give you the peace you seek.

People lie and cheat in happy and loving relationships because they may need something or someone else to fulfill their needs. But those needs are often derived from personality traits and childhood trauma and have little to nothing to do with the relationship. People who have low self-esteem are likely to cheat because they crave the validation of secretly having multiple partners. 

Free Grayscale Portrait of Woman Stock Photo

Infidelity has been shown to have negative mental health consequences, including posttraumatic stress symptoms, depression, and anxiety. A scientific analysis “revealed that attributing causality and responsibility to the cheating partner was associated with greater infidelity-related stress.” The analysis also found that high self-esteem was linked to one’s ability to manage the stress of infidelity. “For those with high self-esteem, the effects of negative appraisals on infidelity-related stress, as well as infidelity-related stress on both depression and anxiety, were dampened.”

The root cause of infidelity’s emotional aftermath is complex, spanning social, cultural, and evolutionary reasons, such as seeing the infidelity as a violation in relationship ideals, feeling a sense of loss in time invested in the relationship, societal norms and sanctions, and evolutionary and reproductive costs (Gordon & Baucom, 1999; Shackelford et al., 2000) — Coping with infidelity: The moderating role of self-esteem, Rosie Shrout, Daniel J. Weigel

It is important to understand the mental health consequences of infidelity. Allow yourself to introspect and feel the betrayal, anger, and grief, but avoid the pitfall of blaming yourself entirely for your partner’s unfaithfulness.

Life does not end when a relationship ends. It may, however, mean the end of your marriage. And while divorce may be painful, the process of legal separation does not have to be, especially when facilitated by an expert Orange County Divorce Mediator. Mediation allows couples to divorce on their own mutual terms, which can often be less complicated, less expensive, and more efficient than what happens in divorce court proceedings. 

Read Eddie M.‘s review of McNamee Mediations on Yelp

Divorce is almost never a breeze, but mediation can feel like one in contrast to litigation. You can give McNamee Mediations a call today. 

McNamee Mediations
4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660

The Need For Speed

The funny thing about fashion is how drastically tastes change from season to season in cycles that seem to repeat every decade or so.

From red carpet gowns to casual streetwear, designers pay careful attention to what celebrities and stylists seem to be drawn to, and from there, forecast trends for the upcoming season. The fashion industry has historically divided the year into four seasons, with each major designer or fashion brand launching one collection per season. 

The four seasons of fashion are Spring/Summer, Autumn/Winter, Resort, and Pre-Fall. Spring/Summer lasts from January to June, Autumn/Winter lasts from July to December, and Pre-Fall is right in between. The Resort collection lasts from October to December. 

By the end of the season, what remains on racks and shelves will be reduced for sales to clear out that season’s inventory. Fashion lovers eagerly await end-of-season sales just as much as they await the newest releases for the next season.

“Create your own style… let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others.” ― Anna Wintour

How Biker Shorts Became Fashionable

Fashion companies know that the average consumer wants the essence of high fashion but without the type of extravagance that would drain one’s wallet and garner confused glances from passersby.

Trends generally start on red carpets and runways before making their way into casual wear and office attire. Fashion retailer ZARA became a household name for quickly recreating affordable versions of the current season’s runway looks.

Zara, which has been credited as having the first successful fast fashion business model, has a design-to-retail style of about five weeks and introduces more than 20 different collections a year. Fast fashion, explained (Vox)

Zara is credited for creating a fashion business model in which profitability relies on speed more than quality or artistry. The goal of production isn’t necessarily longevity or tailoring—it’s to sell as much of what is currently trending the most. The clothes are not necessarily made to last—they’re made to be worn when a certain trend is at its most popular. The workmanship and prices reflect that the garment is meant to be worn for a short duration during which that style is on-trend, only to be easily discarded once the trend has run its course.

Most trends come and go, but some trends eventually become mainstream staples. The biker short seems to look good on everybody, and sustainable versions are offered at affordable prices. A black, cotton pair of biker shorts has proven itself in terms of both form and function.

Unfortunately, the need for speed can hijack what is most important. Biking is now more popular than ever—not just in fashion, but as a means of transportation.

Safety is more important than speed. Unfortunately, fatal motorcycle accidents can happen anywhere, any time. If you or a loved one has been a victim of a motorcycle accident, it is best to consult with an Accident Law Firm to discuss the next steps.

Free Man Riding Motorcycle on Highway Stock Photo

San Diego Motorcycle Accident Attorney C. Villasenor has helped victims in the area get the compensation they legally deserve. You can give Villasenor Law Offices a call today. 

When Friends Judge You And Your Relationship

Whether it was in high school, college, or adulthood, at some point, we have all had that friend who keeps being mistreated by the same person they love over and over again—yet never leaves. Or maybe, we’ve been that friend at one point.

Why We Judge Our Friends

It’s hard not to withhold judgment from a friend who makes questionable life decisions, especially when those decisions involve the people they are romantically involved with. The friendship can feel burdensome, with every conversation seeming to be about their relationship issues. You can’t help but wonder: “If the relationship is so bad, why doesn’t my friend just leave?”

We want the best for our friends; we want them to be loved as deeply by the people they choose to date and love. But it isn’t always up to us for our friends to have the confidence and self-worth they need in order to know that they deserve better than the person they’re struggling with. 

When a friend or family member is in love with someone who treats them poorly, they can be so infatuated that they become immersed in denial. They can’t let go of the relationship because they can’t come to terms with the fact that the love they have poured into their partner will never be fully reciprocated. 

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” ― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

Are Your Friends Too Judgmental?

We tell our friends about our lives because we want to connect and bond over shared experiences. We also want advice when we have difficult questions about our own lives and are at a loss for answers.

Two Women Sitting on White Bench

But what happens if our friends give us advice that is shrouded in judgment? 

“I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging—something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.” — Brené Brown.

Divorce is no longer the taboo it once was, but some people still experience judgment from their friends and family for choosing to end their marriage. It doesn’t help that the complexities of the divorce process can strain relationships even among those outside of the marriage—friends, relatives, and children can often feel pressured to take sides. 

In Orange County, couples are seeking divorce mediation instead of litigation because it is usually more cost-effective and efficient. While divorce can pull people apart more than it brings people together, Colleen McNamee of McNamee Mediations is a certified divorce mediator who is so effective at facilitating communication between both parties that some of her clients have reconciled! Colleen McNamee is even known as the “divorce whisperer”.  

The goal of a divorce mediator is to help both parties settle on the best mutual outcome. Most importantly, a mediator is a neutral third party who won’t cast judgment and won’t take sides. You can give McNamee Mediations a call today.

McNamee Mediations
4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660

Motorcycle Safety & Accident Prevention

With millions of motorcyclists in the United States, the motorcycle is one of America’s most beloved road vehicles. Read on for some of the most important motorcycle safety tips.

Check The Weather

Before you leave for your motorcycle ride, check the local weather to see if there will be any weather conditions that will make driving hazardous. Rain, ice, and snow will allow for less traction. If you have any doubt about your ability to safely navigate the weather conditions, it is best to stay at home or choose a different form of transportation. 

Wear Your Safety Gear 

A motorcyclist has little protection in the event of an accident. Unlike what you see in your favorite fast-paced action film, motorcycle riding isn’t glamorous. The purpose of motorcycle gear isn’t to look cool—although some gear will indeed look really cool. The purpose of motorcycle gear is to protect you from the weather and road debris and to act as a barrier between your skin and the road. In the event of an accident, gear can be the difference between life and death or debilitating injuries. Always wear a helmet that has been approved by the Department of Transportation and has a face shield. Replace your helmet every three to five years. It is highly recommended to wear your safety gear even on the hottest of days—that said, beware of overheating and dress in layers. 

Check Traffic On All Sides

Accidents are more likely to happen at intersections because of the higher density of people and vehicles at junctures. Always heed caution. Watch the actual cars as carefully as you watch the traffic light; even if you have the green light with right of way, some drivers may not notice you or give you right of way, leading to an accident. When in doubt, place your trust in your own observation. Use your signals and check your mirrors whenever making turns and changing lanes. 

Photo of a black, white and orange motorcycle

Exercise Caution During Difficult Road Conditions

Snow and rain will cause the roads to be wetter, which provides less traction than dry roads. It is best not to ride your motorcycle during snowing or rainy days, but if you must, be sure to wear a helmet with clear visors. If you are unable to navigate the road without a clear view ahead, pull over safely and take a break. Waterproof reflective gear is best to stay dry and visible on the road. Note that snow and rain make the roads less clear for all drivers, making motorcycle drivers especially vulnerable.

Hire A Personal Injury Attorney 

Motorcycle accidents can leave you with life-changing injuries and trauma, including spinal cord injuries, fractures, and paralysis. Victims may be left with lifelong emotional trauma and enormous healthcare expenses. If you have been injured in a motorcycle accident, hire personal injury lawyers to represent you and fight for the compensation you deserve. Villasenor Law Office is highly experienced in accident cases involving failure to yield, backing, sideswipes, and hit-and-run. If you have been in a motorcycle accident, you can give them a call today.

Villasenor Law Offices
12396 World Trade Dr Suite 211, San Diego, CA 92128, United States

How Millennial and Gen Z Couples are Redefining Marriage and Divorce

Millennials and Gen Z are doing a lot of things differently from the generations before them. They have unique attitudes toward money, work, and relationships that manifest in different behaviors. Remarkably, they also have an approach to romantic relationships, marriage, and divorce that is unique from other generations.

Millennials and Gen Z on marriage

It has become apparent that many millennials are not committing to marriage until later in life, and most aren’t getting married at all. Baby boomers and other generations would engage earlier, but the millennials and Gen Z often do not see the need to legalize their relationships. They might start living together along with their partners but aren’t rushing to church. There are many reasons behind this trend. For instance, these generations are highly focused on their professional and career growth. They also want to find financial stability first. A lack of own housing, student loans, and trouble securing a well-paid job often keeps young adults more focused on the work aspects of their lives. A wedding might be seen as an occasion that needs a considerable amount of investment that isn’t worthwhile if they aren’t sure whether or not marriage would improve and worsen their financial situation.

The downward trend in marriage has resulted in a declining rate of divorce. Nonetheless, millennials also show varied behaviors on breaking up or getting divorced. For most people, a romantic relationship is perfect when it’s satisfying. For some, it might not be worth it to try and fix it. That suggests millennials might often be more willing to break up or divorce when they are not happy.

How does divorce impact children?

Children of separated or divorced parents can have behavioral issues. The marital conflict that accompanies a divorce can put the child’s social competence in danger. Moreover, parental conflicts impact a child’s behavior problems, irrespective of the parent’s marital status. During a divorce, conflict among parents is accompanied by less responsiveness, less affection, and or more inclination to punish children, leaving their child feeling emotionally unstable. Such children tend to perceive their home environment to be uncontrollable and unpredictable. It’s reported that separation and divorce correlate with lowered school performance and accomplishment. Children from families who are experiencing divorce may have more behavioral issues in school.

Family Inside the Tent

Photo by Kampus Production from Pexels

How child custody lawyers help families through divorce

When you hire the right Child Custody Lawyer for your family, the divorce process is made better and easier for everyone involved. An experienced family lawyer can help minimize the negative effects on your children’s well-being, preserving the hope of your children having promising futures ahead of them. Family law cases can be quite intense and emotional when it comes to custody. Shuff Family Law Firm takes care of each case in the way that makes the most sense for each client’s unique situation. Shuff Family Law gives clients the confidence that what the spouses are going through bears in mind the best interest of their children. You can give their offices a call today.

Shuff Law Firm, a Professional Law Corporation
2634, 2107 N Broadway STE 301, Santa Ana, CA 92706, United States

Mediation Can Ease The Stress of Divorce For Families

Divorce can happen for various reasons, most commonly of which are infidelity and financial stress. The American Psychological Association has reported on the relationship between stress and divorce. 

Various challenges arise when a family experiences a breakdown, due to the separation of the couple. Once a couple wishes to separate, certain issues may arise, such as custody and division of assets. The process of divorce can be extremely challenging, both physically as well as mentally. Despite all of its challenges, spouses must often maintain a healthy relationship for the sake of their children, even though they may be consumed by heartbreak and rage, harboring negative feelings towards their former spouse. Parents must control their negative feelings about their former spouse to provide their children with a safe space for their development and upbringing. Some parents seek counsel on maintaining a healthy post-divorce relationship for the psychological well-being of the child. Moreover, parents will try their best to put their differences aside, being respectful towards each other, so as to try not to interfere with the child’s relationship with the other parent.

Co-parenting after divorce

Co-parenting is the practice of collaboration and cooperation between divorced parents for the sake of the children’s well-being. In co-parenting, parties must be respectful towards one another and practice maturity and poise towards their former partner’s new partner. Parents need to support communication between their child and ex-spouse if ongoing access to both parents is what has been deemed to be in the best interest of the child. Parents should not speak negatively about the former spouse in the presence of the child, or pressure the children to pick sides. Children should be reassured that though their parents are no longer married or romantically involved, they still share a certain amount of love and respect for each other. Parents should be honest with each other and their children. Lastly, if equal custody arrangements have been made, both parents should actively participate in decision-making so that the child feels that they are part of the same family. 

Free stock photo of 14 february, adult, alone

Photo by Ivan Samkov from Pexels

Mediation can ease the stress of divorce for both parents and children

Healthy interaction with your ex-spouse is very much needed for the well-being of the child. Mediation is very much helpful for separating spouses with children. Mediation is a process that involves a divorcing couple trying to negotiate in mutual agreement with the help of a neutral mediator. A simple search of “divorce mediator near me” can save you a great deal of time and energy. A certified divorce mediator will guide the separating couple and provide them with solutions. Planning out everything in the presence of the mediator is less stressful than courtroom scenes. Divorce mediation is all about cooperation to reach a common goal. 

Read Andrea P.‘s review of McNamee Mediations on Yelp

Meditation helps in keeping your children’s best interests in mind. It is best to reach a mutual agreement regarding the child’s custody in a manner that follows the best interests of the child. Unfortunately, this does not always happen in litigation, as fighting in the courtroom can lead to settlements that are ultimately decided upon by the judge. Traditional divorce litigation involves court proceedings such as testifying in front of the judge, which may be stressful for everyone involved. For couples with children seeking a divorce, divorce mediation may be the best way to reach swift agreements and custody arrangements.

 

Could Self-Driving Cars Save Lives?

Self-driving cars are one of the most advanced inventions of the era and they are gaining huge popularity around the world for a good reason. Driverless cars may bring the biggest industrial revolution in history. Driverless cars are believed to solve all major driver-related problems such as traffic collisions and traffic delays. Autonomous vehicles are expected to bring new exciting trends to the market while revolutionizing transportation, shopping, and emergency services. There are lots of amazing things to know about self-driving cars and how they are going to change the world. 

What are self-driving cars?

Current Advanced Driver Assistance System drive systems in vehicles come with reliable safety functions such as steering assistance, pre-collision warning, and automatic braking. There are several levels of this autonomy

Level 0: The vehicle is driven by a human.

Level 1: This automated system comes with no control over the vehicle but can assist drivers with updates regarding hazards.

Level 2: The automated system and the driver share specific controls of the vehicle. The examples of this level can be the cars that are loaded with ADAS.

Level 3: The automated system can take entire control of the vehicle but the driver will be able to interfere in case if the automated system fails to recognize serious conditions. 

Level 4: The automated system can take full control of the car while ensuring the full safety of passengers on the road. However, passengers will still be able to interfere in some critical conditions. 

Level 5: Driver can divert all attention safely away from the driving-related tasks while the automated system takes full control of the system. This type of vehicle can run in some geofenced areas or in controller environments only. This is the most advanced version of driverless cars where no human intervention may be required at any stage. 

How does self-driving technology work?

Self-driving vehicles are loaded with a wide range of technologies including cameras, radar, ultrasound, and radio antennas. These modern vehicles have an autonomous system with layers of autonomy that lead to robust and reliable solutions. One of the best examples of self-driving cars in the present times is Tesla’s autopilot car technology. It makes use of eight cameras for enhanced visibility and the decision-making power is increased using twelve ultrasonic sensors. The front-facing radar also works to analyze potential hazards on the road so that the autonomous system of the vehicle can make quick safety decisions on the road. Furthermore, the fast adoption of Internet of Things technology can improve the results for the success of the concept of self-driving cars. The combination of Artificial Intelligence can further enhance the functionality and robustness of the system. 

Crop unrecognizable woman showing chiropractor painful spot on back

Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

Car accidents

Until we can safely rely on technology to drive for us, we must be careful while driving on the road. However, unfortunately, even the most cautious of drivers may end up in danger due to the negligence of other drivers on the road. If you have been a victim of a vehicle accident, then you deserve to be compensated for the emotional, vehicle, and physical damage. San Diego Car Accident Law Firm Villasenor Law Offices helps its clients get the remedy they deserve. You can give them call today.

Villasenor Law Offices
12396 World Trade Dr Suite 211, San Diego, CA 92128, United States

Hire The Best Lawyer You Can Find

There are many reasons why a couple will choose to end their marriage in divorce. Sometimes, it can be due to irreconcilable differences; in other cases, it can be due to infidelity. Divorce can happen to anyone—even celebrities.

Movie star Brad Pitt has had his fair share coverage in the news regarding his relationships. In his two high-profile divorces, he needed to hire some of the best lawyers in the country in order to handle them adequately. His first divorce was in 2005 with Jennifer Aniston. Unfortunately, this came at a time that shortly followed his filming in a movie where he had a starring role alongside Angelina Jolie; rumors swirled around that they had developed a love affair on set. It was speculated that Aniston wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but that in hindsight, Aniston felt that Pitt had a “missing sensitivity chip”. Fast-forwarding to 2017, Angelina Jolie decided to file for divorce from Pitt. History seemed to repeat itself, however this time, in a gut-wrenching contrast to their first onscreen romance. The couple’s divorce came shortly after the two starred in a movie about a couple in a troubled marriage. As far as the Jolie and Pitt love story goes, it seems that fact was never too far from fiction.

Woman Leaning on Table

How can a divorce lawyer help in a situation like this?

While not everyone who goes through a divorce is a high-profile celebrity, everyone who goes through a divorce deserves to be treated like VIPs by their attorneys.

If you decide to proceed with a divorce, it will be of utmost importance for you to find a reliable professional to represent you in litigation. A great divorce lawyer will navigate through the complicated legal system, reduce friction and hassle, and focus on fighting for your best outcomes. For those looking to hire a family law attorney in Santa Ana, we recommend Shuff Law Firm. Their team of attorneys and paralegals is highly equipped to give you the guidance and counsel you need in this highly challenging and demanding time in your life. More often than not, divorce will require a ton of paperwork—that alone is frighteningly overwhelming for most people. Instead of filing the paperwork yourself, a divorce lawyer can help process it for you; taking care of such matters will lower your stress levels, giving you peace of mind that your documents will be properly filed and submitted on time.

When it comes to Divorce & Family Law in Orange County, Attorney Joseph A. Shuff, III, and Attorney Tamara Shuff Mortensen, Certified Family Law Specialist, have an excellent reputation for being efficient and objective. They aim to provide you with realistic estimates on the most likely result of your divorce. Their team is highly communicative, accessible, and transparent; they provide their clients with copies of all records throughout the entire process. 

The firm is highly reviewed on Yelp, with one reviewer stating: “Tamara is the first lawyer that actually understood the complexity of my situation AND took action.

Read Kelly G.‘s review of Shuff Law Firm on Yelp

You can give Shuff Law Firm a call today:

Shuff Law Firm, a Professional Law Corporation
2634, 2107 N Broadway STE 301, Santa Ana, CA 92706, United States

How To Find Happiness After Divorce

Dealing with a divorce can be very challenging. It is one of those incredibly heavy decisions in life where you end up questioning yourself and your entire life very quickly. Perhaps you believe that nothing can make you happy, which is why you want to move on as fast as possible.

Although painful, at the end of the day, divorce is a decision that pushes your life in a better direction where you can choose yourself first, in order to enjoy living life as much as possible.

How can you achieve happiness after a divorce?

Practice gratitude. Be thankful for all of your blessings and achievements in life. Trust yourself and your instincts. Yes, this will be quite an adjustment—it is indeed a major change—but this will bring great opportunities for new and fulfilling ways to be yourself. Take time to grieve, and then do your best to focus on developing a positive attitude in your mind.

Appreciate the past; do not regret the past. Every moment–no matter how ugly or beautiful—is a part of your life; it is better to just accept every moment as it comes, and then move on. Life is too short and exciting to resist change.

After your divorce, it will be important to keep your mind busy, especially in your newfound singlehood. You can engage in many different kinds of activities. You can start this new chapter in your life with a new hobby—perhaps finally getting to that sci-fi novel you’ve always wanted to write, but never had the time to sit down for.

Photo Of Woman Sitting On Couch

How can a mediator help?

When it comes to divorce, most people’s first thought is to find a family attorney. Of course, it is well-advised that you not only think about yourself and your well-being but to also think about securing legal representation. However, mediation is a great alternative to traditional litigation. If you want to proceed with your divorce and reach a settlement without being in court, then it makes sense to hire a divorce mediator. A mediator is a neutral third-party whose goal is to help both parties reach mutual agreements as amicably as possible. This can significantly reduce any hostility, helping both parties achieve desired outcomes without causing additional emotional harm and stress. Colleen McNamee, a Divorce Mediator for couples based in Orange County, says that some of her clients have even rekindled their love through mediation! Hiring a mediator for divorce is also typically less expensive than the average cost of litigation.

Conclusion

It’s very important to focus on moving forward with your life after a divorce. It will not necessarily be easy, but appreciating the lessons and leaving behind the heartbreak will allow you to confidently and vivaciously embark on all possibilities that the future has to offer you. If you find it hard to communicate with your former spouse, consider hiring a mediator to help you find common ground. For those in Orange County who are are looking for a divorce mediator instead of an Irvine Family Attorney, Colleen McNamee is known as the “divorce whisperer” for having a stellar reputation. A mediator’s priority is to help both parties discuss issues, resolve disputes, reach settlements…and move on with life!

You can give McNamee Mediations a call today:

McNamee Mediations
4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660, United States