The Mental Health Impact of Infidelity

There have been plenty of people who have been blindsided by a breakup or divorce—but no one expects it to happen to them.

The painful truth is that your partner’s seemingly sudden desire to end your relationship was likely not a sudden decision. Their discontent had likely been brewing underneath the surface, and you only became aware of the truth when it could no longer be concealed. When a partner has committed romantic or financial infidelity, only to reveal their deception in the midst of ending your relationship, the separation is all the more painful.

Humans are cognitively wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. It goes along with our natural tendencies to avoid the uncomfortable truth while distracting ourselves with ignorant bliss. 

It’s hard not to ask “why?” after you have been lied to or cheated on. While a reasonable question, the problem with that question is that the answers may not give you the peace you seek.

People lie and cheat in happy and loving relationships because they may need something or someone else to fulfill their needs. But those needs are often derived from personality traits and childhood trauma and have little to nothing to do with the relationship. People who have low self-esteem are likely to cheat because they crave the validation of secretly having multiple partners. 

Free Grayscale Portrait of Woman Stock Photo

Infidelity has been shown to have negative mental health consequences, including posttraumatic stress symptoms, depression, and anxiety. A scientific analysis “revealed that attributing causality and responsibility to the cheating partner was associated with greater infidelity-related stress.” The analysis also found that high self-esteem was linked to one’s ability to manage the stress of infidelity. “For those with high self-esteem, the effects of negative appraisals on infidelity-related stress, as well as infidelity-related stress on both depression and anxiety, were dampened.”

The root cause of infidelity’s emotional aftermath is complex, spanning social, cultural, and evolutionary reasons, such as seeing the infidelity as a violation in relationship ideals, feeling a sense of loss in time invested in the relationship, societal norms and sanctions, and evolutionary and reproductive costs (Gordon & Baucom, 1999; Shackelford et al., 2000) — Coping with infidelity: The moderating role of self-esteem, Rosie Shrout, Daniel J. Weigel

It is important to understand the mental health consequences of infidelity. Allow yourself to introspect and feel the betrayal, anger, and grief, but avoid the pitfall of blaming yourself entirely for your partner’s unfaithfulness.

Life does not end when a relationship ends. It may, however, mean the end of your marriage. And while divorce may be painful, the process of legal separation does not have to be, especially when facilitated by an expert Orange County Divorce Mediator. Mediation allows couples to divorce on their own mutual terms, which can often be less complicated, less expensive, and more efficient than what happens in divorce court proceedings. 

Read Eddie M.‘s review of McNamee Mediations on Yelp

Divorce is almost never a breeze, but mediation can feel like one in contrast to litigation. You can give McNamee Mediations a call today. 

McNamee Mediations
4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660

The Need For Speed

The funny thing about fashion is how drastically tastes change from season to season in cycles that seem to repeat every decade or so.

From red carpet gowns to casual streetwear, designers pay careful attention to what celebrities and stylists seem to be drawn to, and from there, forecast trends for the upcoming season. The fashion industry has historically divided the year into four seasons, with each major designer or fashion brand launching one collection per season. 

The four seasons of fashion are Spring/Summer, Autumn/Winter, Resort, and Pre-Fall. Spring/Summer lasts from January to June, Autumn/Winter lasts from July to December, and Pre-Fall is right in between. The Resort collection lasts from October to December. 

By the end of the season, what remains on racks and shelves will be reduced for sales to clear out that season’s inventory. Fashion lovers eagerly await end-of-season sales just as much as they await the newest releases for the next season.

“Create your own style… let it be unique for yourself and yet identifiable for others.” ― Anna Wintour

How Biker Shorts Became Fashionable

Fashion companies know that the average consumer wants the essence of high fashion but without the type of extravagance that would drain one’s wallet and garner confused glances from passersby.

Trends generally start on red carpets and runways before making their way into casual wear and office attire. Fashion retailer ZARA became a household name for quickly recreating affordable versions of the current season’s runway looks.

Zara, which has been credited as having the first successful fast fashion business model, has a design-to-retail style of about five weeks and introduces more than 20 different collections a year. Fast fashion, explained (Vox)

Zara is credited for creating a fashion business model in which profitability relies on speed more than quality or artistry. The goal of production isn’t necessarily longevity or tailoring—it’s to sell as much of what is currently trending the most. The clothes are not necessarily made to last—they’re made to be worn when a certain trend is at its most popular. The workmanship and prices reflect that the garment is meant to be worn for a short duration during which that style is on-trend, only to be easily discarded once the trend has run its course.

Most trends come and go, but some trends eventually become mainstream staples. The biker short seems to look good on everybody, and sustainable versions are offered at affordable prices. A black, cotton pair of biker shorts has proven itself in terms of both form and function.

Unfortunately, the need for speed can hijack what is most important. Biking is now more popular than ever—not just in fashion, but as a means of transportation.

Safety is more important than speed. Unfortunately, fatal motorcycle accidents can happen anywhere, any time. If you or a loved one has been a victim of a motorcycle accident, it is best to consult with an Accident Law Firm to discuss the next steps.

Free Man Riding Motorcycle on Highway Stock Photo

San Diego Motorcycle Accident Attorney C. Villasenor has helped victims in the area get the compensation they legally deserve. You can give Villasenor Law Offices a call today. 

(Special) Trust Issues

As a parent, the thought of leaving your children behind in your passing is never easy. You wonder if you’ve left them with everything they’ll need to find their own success, avoid any possible catastrophes, and are able to live a happy and fulfilling life.
This goes double for the parents and guardians of people with special needs. It’s easy to spend endless waking nights wondering what will happen to your children after you’re gone, especially if they are incapable of taking care of themselves without assistance.

This is complicated further by the elimination of eligibility for your special needs children to receive government aid due to even modest inheritances after your passing. These small nest eggs may not even be able to last them a year, but they will nonetheless be ineligible for governmental assistance due to income requirements.
That’s where special needs trusts come into play. Special needs trusts act as separate entities that parcel out funds as needed after the guardian passes, so the beneficiary is able to receive the full amount of government assistance they require while being supplemented by income provided by the trust.
Special needs trusts are complicated to set up and come with a number of options that may impact the beneficiary’s future, so it’s highly recommended that you seek out a trusted special needs trust law firm that has had plenty of success in the field.
A southern California local law firm that meets these qualifications is Burris Law. The firm specializes in business and trust law, and its partners have been assisting in the drawing up and execution of trusts for decades. Just take a look at what their clients have been saying about them:

I had a consultation with Jason who was extremely thorough and helpful throughout the entire conversation. We discussed what options my parents and I have for a real estate dispute issue, and everything was explained in a digestible manner that helped us reach a decision for the next steps.
Beyond pleased with Jason, as he is knowledgable, professional, and compassionate. Definitely will be reaching out to this firm in the future and recommend to family and friends.
Also, their staff is incredibly helpful. From the intake coordinator to the paralegals– they make the process very seamless. Communication was always seamless, responsive, and quick.
Thank you all so much. – Sarah O., Yelp Review

Read Angel E.‘s review of Burris Law on Yelp

Ariana Burris was an absolute pleasure for me and my family to work with. We interviewed three other law firms before deciding to move forward with Burris Law. Arianna helped my parents establish their trust and a few other items they wanted in place. Ultimately we chose to work with Ariana due to her experience and the values she represents. She took the time to really understand our situation and tailored her knowledge to our needs. Relationships + Solutions + Results. 10/10 great people all around at Burris Law! We highly recommend! – Ryan B., Yelp Review

If you are the parent or guardian of a special needs child or dependant, we highly recommend starting a special needs trust as soon as possible with the specialists over at Burris Law. You’ll finally be able to sleep soundly knowing that your charge will be able to live a fulfilling and happy life, even if you aren’t around to see it.
Burris Law
+17149418122
488 S Glassell St, Orange, CA 92866

When Friends Judge You And Your Relationship

Whether it was in high school, college, or adulthood, at some point, we have all had that friend who keeps being mistreated by the same person they love over and over again—yet never leaves. Or maybe, we’ve been that friend at one point.

Why We Judge Our Friends

It’s hard not to withhold judgment from a friend who makes questionable life decisions, especially when those decisions involve the people they are romantically involved with. The friendship can feel burdensome, with every conversation seeming to be about their relationship issues. You can’t help but wonder: “If the relationship is so bad, why doesn’t my friend just leave?”

We want the best for our friends; we want them to be loved as deeply by the people they choose to date and love. But it isn’t always up to us for our friends to have the confidence and self-worth they need in order to know that they deserve better than the person they’re struggling with. 

When a friend or family member is in love with someone who treats them poorly, they can be so infatuated that they become immersed in denial. They can’t let go of the relationship because they can’t come to terms with the fact that the love they have poured into their partner will never be fully reciprocated. 

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” ― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

Are Your Friends Too Judgmental?

We tell our friends about our lives because we want to connect and bond over shared experiences. We also want advice when we have difficult questions about our own lives and are at a loss for answers.

Two Women Sitting on White Bench

But what happens if our friends give us advice that is shrouded in judgment? 

“I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging—something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.” — Brené Brown.

Divorce is no longer the taboo it once was, but some people still experience judgment from their friends and family for choosing to end their marriage. It doesn’t help that the complexities of the divorce process can strain relationships even among those outside of the marriage—friends, relatives, and children can often feel pressured to take sides. 

In Orange County, couples are seeking divorce mediation instead of litigation because it is usually more cost-effective and efficient. While divorce can pull people apart more than it brings people together, Colleen McNamee of McNamee Mediations is a certified divorce mediator who is so effective at facilitating communication between both parties that some of her clients have reconciled! Colleen McNamee is even known as the “divorce whisperer”.  

The goal of a divorce mediator is to help both parties settle on the best mutual outcome. Most importantly, a mediator is a neutral third party who won’t cast judgment and won’t take sides. You can give McNamee Mediations a call today.

McNamee Mediations
4590 MacArthur Blvd Suite 500, Newport Beach, CA 92660

Motorcycle Safety & Accident Prevention

With millions of motorcyclists in the United States, the motorcycle is one of America’s most beloved road vehicles. Read on for some of the most important motorcycle safety tips.

Check The Weather

Before you leave for your motorcycle ride, check the local weather to see if there will be any weather conditions that will make driving hazardous. Rain, ice, and snow will allow for less traction. If you have any doubt about your ability to safely navigate the weather conditions, it is best to stay at home or choose a different form of transportation. 

Wear Your Safety Gear 

A motorcyclist has little protection in the event of an accident. Unlike what you see in your favorite fast-paced action film, motorcycle riding isn’t glamorous. The purpose of motorcycle gear isn’t to look cool—although some gear will indeed look really cool. The purpose of motorcycle gear is to protect you from the weather and road debris and to act as a barrier between your skin and the road. In the event of an accident, gear can be the difference between life and death or debilitating injuries. Always wear a helmet that has been approved by the Department of Transportation and has a face shield. Replace your helmet every three to five years. It is highly recommended to wear your safety gear even on the hottest of days—that said, beware of overheating and dress in layers. 

Check Traffic On All Sides

Accidents are more likely to happen at intersections because of the higher density of people and vehicles at junctures. Always heed caution. Watch the actual cars as carefully as you watch the traffic light; even if you have the green light with right of way, some drivers may not notice you or give you right of way, leading to an accident. When in doubt, place your trust in your own observation. Use your signals and check your mirrors whenever making turns and changing lanes. 

Photo of a black, white and orange motorcycle

Exercise Caution During Difficult Road Conditions

Snow and rain will cause the roads to be wetter, which provides less traction than dry roads. It is best not to ride your motorcycle during snowing or rainy days, but if you must, be sure to wear a helmet with clear visors. If you are unable to navigate the road without a clear view ahead, pull over safely and take a break. Waterproof reflective gear is best to stay dry and visible on the road. Note that snow and rain make the roads less clear for all drivers, making motorcycle drivers especially vulnerable.

Hire A Personal Injury Attorney 

Motorcycle accidents can leave you with life-changing injuries and trauma, including spinal cord injuries, fractures, and paralysis. Victims may be left with lifelong emotional trauma and enormous healthcare expenses. If you have been injured in a motorcycle accident, hire personal injury lawyers to represent you and fight for the compensation you deserve. Villasenor Law Office is highly experienced in accident cases involving failure to yield, backing, sideswipes, and hit-and-run. If you have been in a motorcycle accident, you can give them a call today.

Villasenor Law Offices
12396 World Trade Dr Suite 211, San Diego, CA 92128, United States

Getting Down To Business

Attorneys represent somewhat of an oddity in our economic system. They’re so varied, so wildly inconsistent in quality and expertise, that those of us who manage to find a good one tend to stick with them for life.

The trick is actually finding those quality lawyers. Every street corner and billboard advertises this or that firm as being the best in the city or county, yet a cursory introductory meeting will often lead to disappointment and, even worse, a hefty bill. That’s why we do what we do here – funneling people to quality law offices that don’t cut corners and won’t leave you in the lurch with a hefty bill.

The need for a strong business law attorney is probably the least accounted for aspect of running your own company, so once you actually need one, you may find yourself scrambling looking for adequate representation. Luckily, if you’re a reader of this blog and are in the Orange County area, we have a firm we can recommend without hesitation: Burris Law.

As one of the most well respected Real Estate and Business Law firms in the state, Burris Law has seen their clients through any number of odd and difficult legal battles. Just take a look at some of the testimonials posted by satisfied clients:

I am a little late in writing this review. I would highly recommend Burris Law. I started with an attitude that did absolutely nothing for me. Causing my issue to drag on with further threats of pending troubles. I had a consultation with a second attorney who could not assist me but referred me to Burris Law. After months of worry I meet with Jason and Tim how immediately put me at ease. From day one the Burris team stood by me and believed in me. After much back and forth with opposing counsel, Jason and Tim were able to effect an amazing settlement. It hopefully will end any and all communication with the other party.
Thank you Jason and Tim along with the entire Burris team, for all of your hard work and dedication on my case. I hope I will never need you but is comforting to know if I do your team will be there for me!! – Kurt U., Yelp Review

Ariana helped my parents and I handle my parents’ end of life planning and setting up a revocable trust for their assets. The process was incredibly smooth, quick, and positive. Ariana and her staff are extremely helpful and responsive, and more than happy to answer any questions that may arise when you inevitably get overwhelmed with the amount of information that you need to understand. Ariana made it clear that we are her clients FOR LIFE.

On top of that, they run their business responsibly during COVID, with all initial meetings being handled remotely and only the signing occuring in person. We were given a timeslot and showed up in masks and were in and out quickly. Amazing experience with a lovely business. Would definitely recommend Burris Law to anyone looking for someone to manage their estate planning. THANKS ARIANA! – Rakesh J., Yelp Review

If you’re in need of legal representation as a business owner, get in touch with the crew at Burris Law. They’ll get you through anything from contract disputes to difficult premises liability suits.

Burris Law

(714) 941-8122

Mediation Can Ease The Stress of Divorce For Families

Divorce can happen for various reasons, most commonly of which are infidelity and financial stress. The American Psychological Association has reported on the relationship between stress and divorce. 

Various challenges arise when a family experiences a breakdown, due to the separation of the couple. Once a couple wishes to separate, certain issues may arise, such as custody and division of assets. The process of divorce can be extremely challenging, both physically as well as mentally. Despite all of its challenges, spouses must often maintain a healthy relationship for the sake of their children, even though they may be consumed by heartbreak and rage, harboring negative feelings towards their former spouse. Parents must control their negative feelings about their former spouse to provide their children with a safe space for their development and upbringing. Some parents seek counsel on maintaining a healthy post-divorce relationship for the psychological well-being of the child. Moreover, parents will try their best to put their differences aside, being respectful towards each other, so as to try not to interfere with the child’s relationship with the other parent.

Co-parenting after divorce

Co-parenting is the practice of collaboration and cooperation between divorced parents for the sake of the children’s well-being. In co-parenting, parties must be respectful towards one another and practice maturity and poise towards their former partner’s new partner. Parents need to support communication between their child and ex-spouse if ongoing access to both parents is what has been deemed to be in the best interest of the child. Parents should not speak negatively about the former spouse in the presence of the child, or pressure the children to pick sides. Children should be reassured that though their parents are no longer married or romantically involved, they still share a certain amount of love and respect for each other. Parents should be honest with each other and their children. Lastly, if equal custody arrangements have been made, both parents should actively participate in decision-making so that the child feels that they are part of the same family. 

Free stock photo of 14 february, adult, alone

Photo by Ivan Samkov from Pexels

Mediation can ease the stress of divorce for both parents and children

Healthy interaction with your ex-spouse is very much needed for the well-being of the child. Mediation is very much helpful for separating spouses with children. Mediation is a process that involves a divorcing couple trying to negotiate in mutual agreement with the help of a neutral mediator. A simple search of “divorce mediator near me” can save you a great deal of time and energy. A certified divorce mediator will guide the separating couple and provide them with solutions. Planning out everything in the presence of the mediator is less stressful than courtroom scenes. Divorce mediation is all about cooperation to reach a common goal. 

Read Andrea P.‘s review of McNamee Mediations on Yelp

Meditation helps in keeping your children’s best interests in mind. It is best to reach a mutual agreement regarding the child’s custody in a manner that follows the best interests of the child. Unfortunately, this does not always happen in litigation, as fighting in the courtroom can lead to settlements that are ultimately decided upon by the judge. Traditional divorce litigation involves court proceedings such as testifying in front of the judge, which may be stressful for everyone involved. For couples with children seeking a divorce, divorce mediation may be the best way to reach swift agreements and custody arrangements.

 

Could Self-Driving Cars Save Lives?

Self-driving cars are one of the most advanced inventions of the era and they are gaining huge popularity around the world for a good reason. Driverless cars may bring the biggest industrial revolution in history. Driverless cars are believed to solve all major driver-related problems such as traffic collisions and traffic delays. Autonomous vehicles are expected to bring new exciting trends to the market while revolutionizing transportation, shopping, and emergency services. There are lots of amazing things to know about self-driving cars and how they are going to change the world. 

What are self-driving cars?

Current Advanced Driver Assistance System drive systems in vehicles come with reliable safety functions such as steering assistance, pre-collision warning, and automatic braking. There are several levels of this autonomy

Level 0: The vehicle is driven by a human.

Level 1: This automated system comes with no control over the vehicle but can assist drivers with updates regarding hazards.

Level 2: The automated system and the driver share specific controls of the vehicle. The examples of this level can be the cars that are loaded with ADAS.

Level 3: The automated system can take entire control of the vehicle but the driver will be able to interfere in case if the automated system fails to recognize serious conditions. 

Level 4: The automated system can take full control of the car while ensuring the full safety of passengers on the road. However, passengers will still be able to interfere in some critical conditions. 

Level 5: Driver can divert all attention safely away from the driving-related tasks while the automated system takes full control of the system. This type of vehicle can run in some geofenced areas or in controller environments only. This is the most advanced version of driverless cars where no human intervention may be required at any stage. 

How does self-driving technology work?

Self-driving vehicles are loaded with a wide range of technologies including cameras, radar, ultrasound, and radio antennas. These modern vehicles have an autonomous system with layers of autonomy that lead to robust and reliable solutions. One of the best examples of self-driving cars in the present times is Tesla’s autopilot car technology. It makes use of eight cameras for enhanced visibility and the decision-making power is increased using twelve ultrasonic sensors. The front-facing radar also works to analyze potential hazards on the road so that the autonomous system of the vehicle can make quick safety decisions on the road. Furthermore, the fast adoption of Internet of Things technology can improve the results for the success of the concept of self-driving cars. The combination of Artificial Intelligence can further enhance the functionality and robustness of the system. 

Crop unrecognizable woman showing chiropractor painful spot on back

Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

Car accidents

Until we can safely rely on technology to drive for us, we must be careful while driving on the road. However, unfortunately, even the most cautious of drivers may end up in danger due to the negligence of other drivers on the road. If you have been a victim of a vehicle accident, then you deserve to be compensated for the emotional, vehicle, and physical damage. San Diego Car Accident Law Firm Villasenor Law Offices helps its clients get the remedy they deserve. You can give them call today.

Villasenor Law Offices
12396 World Trade Dr Suite 211, San Diego, CA 92128, United States

Everything But The Kitchen Sink

Divorce can be a ruinous life event without the proper preparation and representation in the court system. The internet is abound with story after story of men and women who use every trick in the book to get as much money and custody time for the children of the previous relationship as possible.

A recent Business Insider story ran recently with a number of different examples of divorce horror stories, most involving police action taken in order to prevent the other party from receiving custody of their children or to get a leg up during proceedings. This story, however, gives you a glimpse at how unscrupulous lawyers can get involved in the couple’s schemes in order to get a better result in court:

“I came home from work not knowing there was a restraining order against me — the lock had been changed and I was trying to get into my house. My then-wife had called the police in advance: I was arrested within minutes and charged with the felony of violating a restraining order.

Her lawyer had told her to do that because if she were going against a felon, she would be guaranteed to get full custody of the kids, as well as the child support money that went along with it. Shortly after I lost in court because of the felony, the law in Tennessee (and other places) was changed so that a restraining order requires proof of danger and can’t just be sprung on someone as a trap.”

Using attorneys lacking in moral fiber or willing to use any means necessary to win in court may work out in the short term but will almost always come back to haunt you on a later date. That’s why we recommend finding solid divorce attorneys that use research and hard work to achieve results that last.

One such firm that we will always recommend for our southern California readers is Shuff Law Firm, a local law office that has been operating for almost half a century. Started in 1974 by Joseph Shuff, the firm is now managed by his daughter, Tamara, who has represented hundreds of clients throughout the year with conscientiousness and integrity.

These two characteristics has lead to a loyal list of clients, who have provided a number of sterling testimonials to the firm’s abilities:

Read Megan R.‘s review of Shuff Law Firm on Yelp

After 6 years of having one disappointment after another with a different attorney I decided to find someone else that would hopefully do a better job. From the very first phone call Shuff Law Firm handled my unique case with respect and care. Tamara was simply amazing. I was kept apprised of everything that was happening as it happened. The job she did was so well done that the ex actually backed down and reversed her decision to go to court for more support. I can finally take the last step in moving forward with my life thanks to the hard work of Tamara and the team at Shuff Law Firm.

If you have to go through a divorce, then you have to use them. (Michael G., Yelp Review)

If you’re in danger of losing your shirt because of your previous partner’s unscrupulous lawyers, get on the phone and dial up Shuff Law Firm’s number. They’ll get you results without the morally dubious tactics.

Shuff Law Firm

+17148340175

2634, 2107 N Broadway STE 301, Santa Ana, CA 92706